Having a hard time this month.

My survivor is turning out to be the most amazing little girl, and I love her and her sister more than words, but some days are still so hard. My son's anniversary is looming and Passover starts in two days and I'm feeling very overwhelmed. Three years ago I spent Passover in the hospital pregnant with twins. Unfortunately only one of my twins survived and this holiday will always be tainted for me. Just one more reminder of what could have been. I want to make a beautiful Seder that my girls will enjoy and remember, but it's just so hard. I thought this year I would reclaim this holiday, push the dark cloud away, but it's turning out to be harder than I expected.