Approaching the one year anniversary

I was really disappointed with my son's funeral. I felt like I let him down and was in no shape to do any of the planning. I was recovering from both a vaginal birth and a c-section, my daughter was still in the NICU, I had just spent 5 weeks in the hospital and my older daughter was in desperate need of my attention. I promised myself that I would make up for all the shortcomings of the funeral with the one anniversary. Jewish tradtion dictates that a grave marker be placed shortly before the one year annversary. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to remember him and do what I wasn't able to for the funeral. Except that we are now 8 weeks out and I haven't done anything. This is causing me extreme guilt, but I can't seem to start planning.