Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Wondering about who he would've been...

Last year at this time all I could think about was there should be two. I was supposed to have twins, a boy and a girl. Two years out, I keep wondering who my son would be now. What would he look like, what type of personality would he have? Would he be big like his older sister, tiny like his twin, straight hair, curly hair, eye color, etc.? I still have questions, but they're different then the early grief stage. My arms might not feel as empty, but my heart still aches.


  1. I want to thank you for sharing. I think about the baby girl I lost in January every day. Her identical twin sister was in the NICU for 3 weeks and truly is my miracle baby. I'm trying to figure out a way to keep Jayden in our lives without building a shrine. I want her sisters to always know about her. Do you have any thoughts on that. My oldest is 4 years old. Thank you again

  2. I struggle with that as well. My oldest was a few months past her 4th birthday when we lost my son, so she really seemed to understand the loss. We have one picture on our picture wall and that's about it. My oldest daughter still talks about her brother, so we just try and follow her lead. I don't want to pretend that we didn't have a son and I want my daughters to know that they had a brother, but I also don't want it to overshadow their lives. I'm sorry if that's not helpful. Are there any twin loss groups near you, my group has been an invaluable asset.